Mindful {Monday} | Well Hello Again...

I've been skimping on the mindful Monday posts.. and well my posts in general.  It's not that I haven't been mindful, but instead that I have been really trying to live so much in the moment recently {honestly, I've been forced to} that I don't always have a moment {or always want to spend a rare moment} writing here.

Our new schedule has been a bit of a challenge and getting used to it {am I used to it?} has taken a bit of time.  I really have the easy job in this whole Paul going back to school thing.  It's keeping us both busy, but like always, I am amazed at the speed of time.  That speed is both a relief, as we can see the end in sight, and a bit scary with exam deadlines, papers, and non-stop homework always looming.

I do love how organized it has forced us to be. There is nothing like rising to meet a challenge and I feel like that is what we have both been doing; me on the home-front and him in the classroom.

Here is the schedule we have settled into lately:

Monday & Tuesday: 
5:20 AM - Wake up, walk the dogs, shower and get ready.
7:00 AM - Rose to work
7:15 AM - Paul to work
12:30 PM - Paul to Library
5:30 PM - Paul to class
5:30 PM/6:00 PM - Rose to home
6:30 PM - Eat, feed pets, walk dogs, shower
8:30 PM - Paul, class ends
9:00 PM - Paul home
9:30 PM - 10:30 PM - Bed please.

Wednesday
5:20 AM - Wake up, walk the dogs, shower and get ready.
7:00 AM - Rose to work
7:15 AM - Paul to work
12:30 PM - Paul to Library
5:30 PM/6:00 PM - Rose to home
6:30 PM - Paul to class
6:30 PM - Rose eat, feed pets, walk dogs, shower, cook
9:15 PM - Paul, class ends
10:00 PM - Paul home
10:00 PM - 10:30 PM - Bed please.

Thursday
5:20 AM - Wake up, walk the dogs, shower and get ready.
7:00 AM - Rose to work
7:15 AM - Paul to work
12:30 PM - Paul to Library
5:30 PM - Paul to class
5:30 PM/6:00 PM - Rose to home
6:30 PM - Eat, feed pets, walk dogs, shower
8:30 PM - Paul, class ends
9:00 PM - Paul home
9:30 PM - 10:30 PM - Bed please.

Friday
5:20 AM - Wake up, walk the dogs, shower and get ready.
7:15 AM - Rose to work
7:15 AM - Paul to work
5:00 PM - Rose to home
5:30 PM - Paul to home
Some time after work: Grocery Shopping/Dinner

Saturday
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM  - Wake up, walk the dogs, shower and get ready.
12:00 PM - Paul to library, Rose cleans home & HOPEFULLY works on projects!!
5:30PM / 6:00PM - Dinner
Hopefully time to hang out after this... just depends on homework

Sunday
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM  - Wake up, walk the dogs, shower and get ready.
12:00 PM - Paul to library, Rose cooks dinners and packs lunch for the week & HOPEFULLY works on projects!!
5:30PM / 6:00PM - Dinner
Hopefully time to hang out after this... just depends on homework

So you can quickly see where our time now goes each week. Also, Pippa {our dog} has been getting into a strange habit of jumping up onto the bed in the middle of the night and waking us up.. sometimes multiple times.  On these nights we wake up so sleep deprived... we wonder how people that have kids do this???

Anyway, our schedule isn't anything special, but it has forced us to really get into a better habit of being more efficient with our time and schedule things as much as possible.  Planning meals and cooking large batches has been essential to making sure we are eating well... Which means we stay away from the fast food.  I mean... maybe a pizza here or there on a Friday ;) 

We are both definitely looking forward to a break during Thanksgiving and Christmas {which you know I'd love to pack with projects}... but, honestly, I'm really looking forward to just hanging out and binge watching movies with my hubby, whom I miss quite a bit. ❤

Mindful {Monday} | Fear

Fear is meant to stop you from doing things that are potentially dangerous, foolish, or embarrassing. In many ways, fear keeps us safe, but letting fear drive all our decisions doesn't allow us to live our lives to the fullest potential.

Fears are meant to be conquered.  Each fear that is conquered is a building block in the foundation and structure of our lives.  These achievements build us into confident, happy, and wiser people. 

Sometimes I need to remind myself of this.  I try to push myself to the other side of risk and fear, because I don't want to look back and say "what if." Some risks are worth taking.  If nothing else, you'll always learn something. 

To clarify, I am one of the least impetuous people you'll ever meet.  I analyze and mull over even the tiniest of decisions, but I try to set myself a time limit to prevent overthinking.  Once I've reached a decision, any risk I take tends to be mostly calculated.  

Six years ago, I took one of the BIGGEST risks of my life.  I turned down a dream job, left home, moved 800 miles {without a job - but that's another story},  and took a chance on love.  haha  

Cliché, I know. I'm a romantic through and through.   

It ended up being the right choice for me.  The risk panned out.  I had a job within a couple weeks and in 6 months was well on my way to being completely integrated in my new Southern environment. Flash forward to now, I'm still a work in progress {obviously}, but I'm happily married to Mr.Risk and busily building our cozy home with him.  

Even though this risk worked out, I still find myself blazing ahead at times only to then pause and teeter on the precipice of a decision.  

Fear is, and probably always will be, something I need to work to overcome.  

Knowledge is half the battle though, right?  Knowing that fear can be limiting, and being able to remind myself of this fact, is what keeps me reaching higher, digging deeper, and trying my best to choose a positive and fun path to travel!  Even if, at first, the path looks a little unfamiliar and scary. ❤

By the way, shout out to a few people I know that are taking risks and braving new paths. 

• I have a friend that took an amazing solo backpacking trip to Italy!  This was a big courageous move for her and I'm so proud.  Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and conquering fears.  She's amazing and I can't wait to hear all about her spectacular journey. 
• A friend of a friend, who is a wonderful person and a great inspiration to me.  She just accepted a new job offer and I'm so happy for her! It's going to be new, a bit scary, and hopefully just what she needs to help her spread her wings and grow even more wonderful than before. 
• Also, that Mister Risk of mine?  He's going back to University next week to get his Master's. Words cannot express how excited I am for him.  I know how much thought and time he put into making this decision and I am so entirely proud of him for going after what he wants! :)

Mindful {Monday} | Time

Both this week and last, I've been thinking quite a bit about time.  Not necessarily how little of it I seem to have, about the past, or about the future, but about how I experience it.  It amazes me how time can seem to drag one week and then simply fly by the next.  Time is behaving the same, but it is how time is experienced that is different.

The best days are the ones that seem like they've been fully experienced.  The days where time seemed to move the exact speed that you expected.  The days where you were able to fit in everything that you wanted and you enjoyed your time fully.  

For me, I find that these days happen when I don't overwhelm myself with tasks, errands, or try to cram too much in.  Right now, it can seem difficult to not feel overwhelmed by a lack of time.  I try to remind myself to take it easy.  The biggest thing I need to remember is to realistically plan out my days and not over commit.  I often feel terrible saying "no" to events, favors, and last minute plans, BUT I've learned that the stress I feel is much worse when I say "yes".

Another thing I've learned is that saying "no" to my own ideas or ambitions is sometimes also necessary.  That's where the "being realistic" comes in.  There are only 24 hours in a day and most of them are already occupied with pre-existing commitments... you know, like sleep.   If I am too ambitious with my planning,  something has to give; when it's sleep that gives, I get terribly miserable.  {I'm already operating on a deficit most of the time... take away a couple more hours... well let's just say no one wants to see that.}

I'm making it a goal to experience more enjoyable and "full" days. That doesn't mean dropping all my DIY goals, projects, and adventure ambitions...or quitting my job, doing yoga, and eating pizza all day {bye college}.  It means that I schedule in "buffers" for my down time.  It means I consciously choose to make time to enjoy my day.  Ten minutes of a hot cup of tea in silence,  five minutes of reflection before bed,  three mindless minutes of facebook or instagram when I wake up in the morning... these are just small examples of "breaks" to breathe.  I'd love to take longer breaks, but sometimes I find it less overwhelming and more sustainable to start small and scale up.

Notice, reflect, and adjust. :)  JUST keep it simple.

I love it when my tea tag speaks to me. ❤

Mindful {Monday} | A Tradition

Better late than never! I missed writing this post on Monday, because I was up in Rhode Island spending time with family.  Every year my family has been going to Rhode Island, to my Great Uncle Joe's cottage, in July for a massive family vacation/reunion.  And, when I say massive, I mean MASSIVE!

This week long family vacation consists of all of my Aunts, Uncles, and cousins from my Mother's side of the family. {She is one of 8 children}.  It's A LOT of people.  Then on the first Sunday of the trip all of my Mom's second cousins and their children... and their children, come for the big reunion.

It's so impossible to describe.  I don't feel like I can do this incredible event justice.  It's been held on this scale for at least 40 years and my Mom's family were making this same trip when they were kids.  It's a pilgrimage of sorts.

There are probably a hundred different traditions that are repeated each year from the stop into Flo's for lobster rolls and clam cakes, the after dinner Awful Awful's at Newport Creamery, and the evening storytelling sessions in the "Beer Tent".  Walks on the rocky beach searching for purple glass and other treasures, evening pictures on the white rock, in front of the Mount Hope Bridge, then heading out to Newport for dinner.  A new tradition of Tuesday Night Trivia at Aiden's Pub.  Touring the Vineyards with new additions each year as we each turn 21, early morning power walks, and usually one trip to the cliff walks. Mansions and shopping if it rains... and so many more that I can't even think of...

My family is incredibly special and precious to me.  I never forget, but being so far away from them, I don't get that weekly/monthly family-village dose of love that I remember getting to experience growing up in the same town as them. They are truly such a beautiful network of supportive, loving, funny, and amazing people.  They stick together through everything that life throws at them and the amount of effort that they put into each other is unlike anything I've ever seen.  I hope that our traditions continue for many years to come and that we keep adding more love and kindness to the mix with each generation that gets added to the craziness! :)  I can't imagine my life without all the memories and support that my big crazy family has provided.  I can't imagine any place that feels more like home than a week in Rhode Island surrounded by ocean, salt air, and the love of a big family.

3 Things That Help "Type A" People De-stress

Every weekend for the past year, I've either been traveling or doing a house project. 

For the most part, I've been able to stay organized, keep on top of the laundry, cleaning, and other household chores, but there has been an ever growing pile of paperwork 

in our home office that was really starting to irritate me. 

As a self-confessed "Type A" personality, things such as clutter, messiness, asymmetry... they really irk me.  As I prioritize my time, I rationalize that the things I don't have time for right now, I will get to later... but after a while I realize that I haven't really been being laid back about it.  Actually, I've been moving all this clutter into a pile somewhere in the house where I don't have to look at it every day.  

I had a Monica's closet situation on my hands. 

Having a cluttered, messy, house really stresses me out.  

I always will make time to clean, but if I run out of time to organize (i.e. file paperwork, mail, etc.) then my coping mechanism is Hoard and Hide.  Hahaha. 

Above all else, more than exercise, sleep, food, or wine... these 3 things always help me de-stress.

1. Make highly organized, color coordinated, "To-do" lists - Making lists makes me feel like I have some sort of handle on everything going on around me.  It makes planning and tackling all the tasks/errands/projects a bit easier.  It helps me to remember everything that I have going on and also to better prioritize my time.  Getting things down onto paper helps free up your mind and the constant churning of reminding thoughts.  The color coordinated part might speak more about my girly-ness than actually being Type A...
2. Clean - This is a big one for me.  We all have our little pet peeves and different levels of tolerance for mess.  My tolerance level is pretty low.  I can leave a dish here or there on the counter and come home to clean it later, but under no circumstances can I let stuff like that linger for more than a day without it really stressing me out.  When I can stay on top of cleaning, it really helps me feel more relaxed in my environment.
3. Organize - Organization can sometimes get looked over for other immediate
   "to-do" items, but if I leave it for too long and build up a "Monica" closet, it starts to weigh on me. However, the level of satisfaction I get from clearing out a room, getting rid of things, filing paperwork, shredding old bills, etc... is the BEST feeling EVER.  Hahaha.  It might sound ridiculous, but it's like finishing a marathon.  I've always felt this way about organizing.  I remember being in middle school/high school and offering to organize other people's rooms for them: FOR FREE!  I thought it was fun.  I have other friends that feel the same way, so I know I'm not crazy.  Hahaha. ;)

Anyway, the reason I mention this in a Mindful Monday post is because I think these 3 things transcend the physical space around us. 

When you take the time to get organized, clean, and get rid of the junk in your physical space it can go a long way to also making you feel less stressed, and more organized and uncluttered internally. 

Mindful {Monday}

One thing I was overwhelmingly aware of last week was my feeling of gratitude.

Sure, it was my birthday and my Husband did an AMAZING job surprising me and he created so many lovely ways to surprise me... but there were also the calls, texts, cards, and emails from friends I haven't heard from in ages.

It was those little human gestures, efforts to connect, that were the highlights of my week.

It was feeling so entirely loved, by those I love, that made me so blissfully happy.

Each day I try to spend a moment reflecting on all my reasons for gratitude.  I find this really helps me focus on the things in life that truly matter.  When I have trouble falling asleep, I try to identify as many things {BIG and small} that I have to be thankful for... I usually fall asleep before I'm finished.  When I have a rough day or am just feeling down about things, I try as hard as I can to remember all the reasons I am lucky.

There is so much we all take for granted each day, and so much we do not even notice.  We spend so much of our time and energy wanting this or that, but often not enough time being happy with what we already have.  I try to catch myself when I am having one of those moments of want, and then try to just pause and mentally rearrange my priorities.

When you get into a habit of "counting your blessings", you feel grateful for so much: a hot shower, a clean comfortable bed, a simple home-cooked meal... I've even talked myself into feeling thankful for some of my problems.  Compared to some people.. my problems are even lucky.

My Husband, who I am extremely thankful for, made it his goal to celebrate my birthday each day last week. {He is the single most important blessing I have.} Last night, when we climbed into bed, he said "Happy Birthday" one last time... and I just laughed.  Aside from "Thank you," all I could think to tell him was that I have had MORE than enough celebration and it was time to put my birthday to rest.  I didn't want for anything more.  It wasn't the gifts or the trip.  It was the moments of connection and gestures of love that meant the most. ❤ 

Mindful {Monday}

It's pretty neat how when I started this mindful initiative, suddenly I also started to pick up on examples of mindfulness around me, or stories about mindfulness in the news.  

This week I bumped into the idea of mindfulness from two different sources: NPR and a TED talk from Tony Fadell, a product designer whose most notable concept and design is that of the iPod.

Most days during lunch, I listen to NPR.  Funny enough...last week ON my Mindful Monday, I heard a piece about Matthieu Ricard, a French molecular biologist turned Buddhist Monk.  

(He has had a fascinating life, as demonstrated by a Ph.D. in Molecular Genetics, 

acting as the French translator to the Dalai Lama, and author of several best selling books.)

During the NPR interview, he discussed the positive effects that meditating and mindfulness can have on our abilities to focus on tasks, our attention spans, and our overall happiness and levels of stress.  Those benefits were not surprising, but what was surprising was when he talked about how it has been scientifically studied, and proven, that our thoughts can physically change the structure of our brain.  Meditation and the practice of mindfulness can increase the amount of gray matter in our brains and can also affect how our genes are expressed, or rather how our genes are turned on or off.  

This is an amazing concept to me and such a wonderful proof of the power each of us have to change; change our minds, our habits, our bodies, and the world around us. 

Here are some links to the NPR interview and other articles I read:

NPR: Altruism and Matthieu Ricard (Epigenetics around the 18 minute mark).

Washington Post: Meditation and Changes to the Brain

UW Madison: Meditation and Gene Expression Changes

Matthieu Ricard Books

Next up, I saw a TED Talk advertised on my LinkedIn feed; the intended subject was on "the secret of design."  I was initially drawn to this video to learn some tips about good product/website design for end users.  Instead, what I got was a presentation on mindfulness.  Tony did not call it mindfulness, but instead he touched on the concept of "habituation."  

Habituation is essentially what I was describing in my last Mindful Monday post.  It was the reason I didn't notice the night choir of nature noises going on around me.  Humans are so good at becoming accustomed to stimuli and everyday tasks that we simply don't pay much attention to them. 

Mindfulness, paying attention, noticing, tuning in... however you'd like to refer to it, he noted this as the single most important thing we all need to do in order to solve the big and small problems around us.  When we start seeing these problems that most people just deal with because "that's the way it is" or "that's the way it always has been," this is when we can really innovate. 

 Link: Tony Fadell's TED Talk

Mindfulness - It's good for brain, body, spirit... and apparently also your career! 

Mindful {Monday}

Last week, Paul and I went flat water kayaking at the U.S. National Whitewater Center as part of a celebration for his birthday.  It was so completely different than our typical way of spending a Friday night. We both got out of work a bit early and were on the river before we even get home most nights.

Being out on the quiet water surrounded by thick vegetation, a soft evening sky, and herons strolling along the banks was lovely.  It was silent and peaceful. We were amazed at how it didn't seem at all like we were only ten miles out of uptown.

We ate dinner and had drinks around a fire. It was a wonderful change in pace and setting.

The whole time I was trying to pay attention and be present, not as a task, but just kept steering my attention back to the moment I was experiencing.  I felt I was doing a pretty good job and was ready to walk away from the evening with a pat on the back, but just before we left we walked into the locker room area to collect our belongings and when we walked outside again, the "silence" we had been enjoying all night was chock-full of sound that we hadn't even noticed.

Crickets, frogs, and other night noises were so incredibly loud it made us wonder how we didn't notice it before.  It was beautiful and we had been missing it the whole time.  We were inadvertently tuning it out.  We recognized the absence of the urban noises (cars, planes, and people) we are so used to, but we let the the nature sounds blend together and then didn't pay attention to them.  It made me realize that I do this a lot.

In school, I learned how to ignore the background noises, so I could focus on studying.  At night, I've learned to ignore annoying sounds like a dripping faucet, a squeaky fan, or other creaks and nightly house noises, so I can get some sleep.  I do the same thing at work with phones ringing, office conversations, and the tapping on keyboards around me, attempting to distract and break my concentration.

At times, it is good to be able to block out the noise, but the constant urban assault on my senses has somewhat numbed my ability to notice the nice noises.  Now it seems, I need to retrain myself to tune back in. Especially, when I'm in a place that seems quiet.

Mindful {Monday}

As I was saying in Friday's introductory post, I'm trying to make a better effort to slow down and enjoy more little moments in my everyday life. It's easy to enjoy and soak in moments during vacations, lazy weekends, or dinner dates with friends or loved ones, but sometimes its hard to appreciate the moments in between...like your daily commute, making dinner, getting ready in the morning, doing chores, or any of the other mundane tasks we do so frequently that we don't really pay too much attention anymore. 

While I was contemplating how to get started shifting my frame of mind to the present, I thought about how babies and dogs are the best examples of mindful thinking. Since I don't have access to a baby, I'll speak about my fur-baby examples. 

Paul and I adopted a new puppy a month ago, and it has been such an amazing and sometimes tedious experience watching him learn new things everyday.  EVERYTHING he does is with excitement and joy.  Every item he comes across is a toy and he just can't help but get into mischief. Sometimes this is frustrating, especially when he decides to go swimming in the water bowl or we need to stop whatever we are doing to replace his newly discovered inappropriate toys (a shoe, a dish towel, the cat, a pillow...) with something that is puppy approved, not once but every couple of minutes. Yet, it's also incredible because I realize that he won't be like this forever, or even much longer.  

Soon, the noise the piano makes won't phase him, and we won't get to see the cute tilting of his head from right to left as he tries to make sense of this curious sound.  I won't need to comfort him when a noisy school bus stops during our walk.  He'll be well trained enough that every single bird, bush, leaf, stick, rock, etc... won't be THE BEST THING he's ever seen during his walk! haha  Soon he'll be a confident, well behaved, little guy with a goofball personality - we know that isn't going away - but they'll be less little things for him to learn and be amazed by. 

The great thing about dogs, is that they are masters of being in the present moment. 

He'll still always get excited for a walk, a treat, a toy, a belly rub, car ride, visitor, and so many other things that people would (and do) take for granted. 

Being mindful, to me, is focusing more on the little, and big, things I do everyday that I had to learn once, and that for a time were exciting and new.  I might not be as enthusiastic about them anymore, but I want to notice them and find the simple joys that can still exist.

This weekend, I started shifting my focus to the present one small moment at a time. I looked for pleasant moments during errands or chores, and as often as I would remember to, I tried to make a point of noticing the sounds, sights, and smells around me. I listened harder and observed more details. I think I smiled more, too. 

New Goals & First Friday Reflection

Hello!

I've been feeling very guilty and low about lacking time for all the things that make me really happy. Since I've named this as my small creative space, I'd like to make more time to write some posts. Therefore, I've given myself some new goals; Even if I get into a stretch of time where I don't have time to build, craft, cook, or garden... I'd like to write a couple/few posts a week.

I'm formerly introducing: Mindful Monday, Wander Wednesday, and Reflection Friday.

These three theme days fit in so perfectly with the way my mind works, because regardless of how busy I get, I never cease mulling over some idea, or dreaming of places to explore. I'll use two days to share my previous travel stories and travel inspiration, as well as share some quotes that get me thoughtful.

The Mindful Monday, will be an extension of a personal endeavor. As a severely "Type A" person, I tend to be a bit wound up and also always in a rush.  Being more mindful of the present, instead of tangled up in the past or in speedy pursuit of the future, is something I think will be very beneficial. Since, being good at something takes practice and Type A people need structure...I'm scheduling one day a week where I share my conscious effort at acknowledging and appreciating the present moment and things that might otherwise pass me by if I didn't slow down to notice them. :)

For my first ever Friday Reflection, I chose a quote from one of my favorite books/authors.  It aligns well with my new goals.

“Often we pass beside happiness without seeing it, without looking at it, or even if we have seen and looked at it, without recognizing it.”

― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo